Updated June 19, Reviewed by Davia Sills. Most people would agree that honesty and trust are key factors in a healthy relationship. Yet, many people find ways to justify keeping a few secrets from their partner. While some secrets may seem harmless on the surface like how much you really spent on that watchdishonesty erodes trust. Here are three reasons that people justify keeping secrets in their relationships. One of the primary reasons for keeping secrets in a relationship is self-protection. At other times, their concerns might be exaggerated. Your partner might convince themselves that revealing a secret would hurt you. So, they might tell themselves that hiding something is actually an act of kindness. Lastly, secrets are sometimes kept in an attempt to protect the relationship being friends before dating. Your partner might assume the best way to continue the relationship is to keep their secrets from you. While your partner might justify their secret-keeping as for the best, the truth is, secrets can take a serious toll on the health of a relationship. They usually come to light at some point, and when they do, trust is shattered. But you can being friends before dating how you respond to their behavior. Create an environment that encourages honesty. Share information with your partner—and encourage them to do the same. When they do share information, manage your response. Have conversations about the difference between secrecy and privacy. Discuss your expectations about what you want to keep private—like your social media passwords or your conversations with family. Discuss what you expect your partner to share with you—such as telling you if an ex reaches out to them or if a coworker is flirting with them. Avoid the temptation to snoop or spy. Rarely does that help anyone feel more confident. Amy Morin. What Mentally Strong People Don't Do. Relationships 3 Reasons Why a Partner Might Be Keeping Secrets Forty percent of people believe their partner isn't being totally truthful. Updated June 19, Reviewed by Davia Sills Share. THE BASICS. While some secrets may seem harmless on the surface, dishonesty erodes trust. Avoid the temptation to snoop or spy; have conversations about the difference between secrecy and privacy. Relationships Essential Reads. The Evolution of Love. Different Feelings of Love in Different Parts of the Brain. About the Author. More from Amy Morin. More from Psychology Today. Back Psychology Today. Back Find a Therapist. Get Help Find a Therapist Find a Treatment Center Find a Psychiatrist Find a Support Group Find Online Therapy Members Login Sign Up International Australia Austria Belgium Canada Denmark Hong Kong Ireland New Zealand Singapore South Africa Sweden Switzerland.
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